TNBC – Sharonda Shariee – Life, Curiosity, Meaningful Experiences

Year 45 Looks Like This

I turned 45 one month ago. When I look in the mirror at 45, I see a breast cancer survivor. I see my body that has changed, scarred, but healed. I see the breast I got to keep, after being diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer-Metaplastic. And I see the weight of what I’ve carried to still be here.

Let’s Be Clear—It Was Damn Hard

Because let me be clear: my journey was DAMN HARD.

Keeping my breast didn’t mean I was spared. It didn’t protect me from the soul-deep fatigue, the emotional unraveling, the fear that clung to my chest like a second skin. It didn’t soften the blow of hearing the words “you have cancer.” It didn’t shield me from the sleepless nights, the waiting, the wondering. The trauma is real and it lives in my bones.

And still, I KNOW I’m one of the ones who was graced to be here.

A Moment That Shifted Something in Me

One day, I was talking with another survivor in the credit union. I had told her I had also been through breast cancer. So, we were sharing pieces of our journeys. When I initially shared, she looked at me, then her eyes dropped briefly to my chest. I still had both of my breasts, and she didn’t.

It was just a moment. But it echoed.

That look wasn’t judgment. It wasn’t bitterness. But it held a silent, heavy knowing. It was grief. A moment of recognition. And in that second, I felt something deep in my spirit crack open, not with guilt, but with compassion for her.

I Don’t Carry Guilt—But I Do Carry Compassion

It hurt to see her pain, even if it wasn’t spoken aloud. It hurt to know that she, too, had fought for her life, and paid for it in a way that I didn’t have to.

But I didn’t feel guilty.

Because I know I deserved my healing. I know I fought for it. I know I earned every piece of this breath, this birthday.

What I felt was something different:

Grief for what she lost.
Grief for what so many women lose.
A wish that we could all come through this with less taken from us.

There’s No Hierarchy in Healing

That’s what I carry as I turn 45.

Not survivor’s guilt, because I’m not ashamed of surviving.

But a survivor’s compassion.

A knowing that while I still have both of my breasts, that doesn’t make my survival softer or hers any less strong.

There is no hierarchy in healing.

No one gets to measure our pain, our losses, or our courage.

We all walked through the fire.

The Now: 10 Months Out

Health-wise, I’m now 10 months out from active chemo.

I’m still in the phase of follow-up appointments every three months, and I take each one seriously, because peace of mind doesn’t come easy after cancer.

Physically, I’m still rebuilding. Regaining strength. Finding mobility. Learning this new version of my body and honoring her limits and her resilience.

It’s a slow climb, slower than I would have ever imagined, but every step forward is still a victory.

To Those Still in the Fight

To every woman who is still in the thick of it. Whether you were just diagnosed, you’re navigating treatment, or you’re facing each day in uncertainty, know that you are not alone. Your courage, even in the quiet moments even when you don’t feel strong. I know the fear, the exhaustion, the waiting, the wondering. And I want you to know that your fight matters. You are in the fire, doing the hardest thing of all, showing up for your life every single day. Keep going! Space is being held for your healing. Rooting for your breakthrough. You are part of this sisterhood we did not choose, but we are with you.

To My Fellow Survivors: I See You

To every woman who made it through breast cancer, whether you kept your breast(s), lost, rebuilt, or chose not to, I see you. I feel the strength that radiates from your soul.

You are not defined by what was taken.

You are glorious in what you reclaimed. YOUR LIFE.

Year 45, Braids, and Deep Gratitude

At 45, I celebrate life, not just mine, but the lives of every woman who’s still here, still healing, still figuring out who she is now.

AND my hair has grown back long enough to finally get braids again. Yes, I went with the MOST, waist length, because I can.

I feel deep gratitude to be able to say, I am WELL.

With love,
Sharonda

P.S. The Birthday Celebration Blog

Sign up for email notifications so you never miss a post, and stay tuned for the full recap of my week-long birthday trip to one of my favorite places, Mexico!

Breast Cancer, Breast Cancer Awareness, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Self-Care, TNBC, Triple Negative Breast Cancer, Uncategorized

Finding Solace: Breast Cancer Comforts & Necessities

September 23, 2024September 23, 2024 sharondashariee

As I journeyed through breast cancer, I found moments of solace in various practices and resources that helped navigate the challenges I faced. I began to collect these treasures, soothing tools, and accommodations to share with others who might be facing similar struggles.

Below is a list of items that offered me comfort and strength, not just during my treatment, but even now.

This journey is ever evolving, and I will continue to update this list with new discoveries. My hope is these suggestions offer support to anyone navigating their own path.

Feel free to share this list with anyone who might find it helpful, and I invite you to contribute your own suggestions in the comments, reminding each other that we are never alone in this journey.

Keep reaching for what soothes your soul!

Baseball Cap Wig Hat

Cable Knit Beanie

NPTressTreats
Satin Scarves

Straw with Lid
Plastic Water Bottle

Hydro Cell Stainless Steel Water Bottle

Air Innovations Humidifier

The Handbook of
Bible Application

Tums Chewy Bites

Bamboo
Shower Bench

MiraLAX Mix-In Pax

Biotene Dry Mouth

CeraVe Healing Ointment

Handheld Thermometer

Tucks Pads

PreparationH

Thin Knit Slouchy Caps

Dr. Teal’s Salt Soak

Pepcid AC Complete

03-Triple Negative Breast Cancer – Metaplastic – Update & Hair Loss

October 25, 2023November 9, 2023 sharondashariee

Before I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer, I thought you lost your hair from having cancer, in general. I quickly learned I was losing my hair from the chemotherapy drugs that were given through IV infusions.

I kept most of my hair for the first 3-4 weeks of TNBC treatment, and my daughter slowly trimmed it away as it started to shed. Losing my hair was absolutely devastating. Those that know me, knew I prided myself in the maintenance of my natural hair. Folks would say, it will grow back, but that is NOT what I wanted to hear or even the point for that matter. Unknown to people who have not had a personal experience with cancer, everyone’s hair does not ALWAYS grow back.

Nine months into my Triple Negative Breast Cancer journey, I still have not allowed myself to be completely in public without a head covering. It feels naked. It feels as-if my whole self is not present. It feels and looks like even though the breast cancer is gone, it is still here.

Oh yes, I had my lumpectomy surgery. By the time you read this, it would have been about eight weeks ago. Recovery was hard and painful at first, but the process has eased up, mostly. The surgeon was successful in removing the remaining cancer chemotherapy did not kill. The surgeon was also able to obtain clear margins. No cancer cells in the surrounding breast tissue. CANCER FREE! A VICTORY!

Next step is radiation. Radiation therapy to the diseased breast, every day for the next five weeks. Radiation therapy does not make you feel ill, like chemotherapy. However, you are tired and want to lay down 12 hours out of the day. There is some darkening of the treated breast, and soreness, but I have not had any skin breakage, or burning. I am confident that it will stay that way, with my current routine of not letting the entire breast get dried. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize seems like the winning plan.

My Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma breast cancer diagnosis changed after surgery from TNBC – Invasive Ductal Carcinoma to TNBC – Metaplastic. Rarer than they thought, and Metaplastic has a higher rate of recurrence. Radiation therapy cleans up any microscopic cancer cells that are unseen and reduces the chance of recurrence. Radiation therapy does not cause hair loss, so I am focused on doing as much as I can to gain that part of myself back, without obsessing and doing too much.

I have not seen many black women on the socials diagnosed with breast cancer, updating their hair growth journey. As vulnerable as it is, I decided to share my journey in hopes that it helps someone. The below pictures are 2 1/2 months post chemotherapy treatment. I have hair again, ya’ll (insert happy tears)! Look at my eyebrows too. haha

Currently I am keeping it simple using these products:

Aunt Jackie’s Biotin & Rosemary Hair & Scalp Oil – I apply the scalp oil once a day in the evenings.

Shampoo – I use a scalp massager and shampoo my scalp as needed.

Jamaican Black Castor Oil – I apply the castor oil once a day in the mornings.

As always, if you have any questions that you feel may help you along your Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma or Metaplastic breast cancer journey, reach out to me in the comments or send an email.

All of you guys who have prayed for me, checked up on me, visited me, and everything in between, thank you with my whole heart! xoxo

Breast Cancer, Breast Cancer Awareness, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Self-Care, TNBC, Triple Negative Breast Cancer

02-My Last Chemotherapy Treatment-Ringing the Bell – Invasive Ductal Carcinoma-Triple Negative Breast Cancer Diagnosis

July 30, 2023July 30, 2023 sharondashariee

I thought I would be able to update you all more, but the last seven months have been INSANELY EMOTIONAL. There are just no amount of words to describe it.

However, after nearly five months of Triple Negative breast cancer chemotherapy, today I finally got to ring the bell to signify the end of chemotherapy treatment.

I could not be more grateful to the Lord, and my Care Team of doctors, nurses, and techs for getting me to a point where I can move on to the next step of getting rid of this cancer that has temporarily taken residence in my body.

But man, shout out to my family, friends, and my co-workers for holding me all the way down, thus far!

My chemo sitting buddies, the home visits, the company through my six-day hospital stay, the calls, the texts, random/special food and juice prep, store runs, my children being my stair-runners, making sure I have every essential imaginary to be comfortable.

EVERYTHING everyone one of you all do and have done for me is appreciated down to my entire soul!

And when I say Edward, my husband, has fulfilled his, “in sickness and in health” marital vows to the fullest, I absolutely cannot express that he has been absolutely SERIOUS about taking care of me and has not missed one consult, appointment, or treatment.

Not one step has been missed in making sure I am taken care of. I say to him often… THANK YOU! He says back to me, you do not have to thank me. There is not anything else I was supposed to be doing. This is what I am here for. Even still, THANK YOU! 🥺❤️

So, after 16 chemotherapy infusions, countless days of being sick, and what seemed like a never-ending hospital stay, my treatment plan for chemotherapy is over.

I move on to surgery, next month, to remove the area where my tumor existed. I chose a lumpectomy, where a portion of my breast is removed, as opposed to removing my entire breast (mastectomy). Then, several rounds of radiation will be necessary to clean-up the area.

The results from my pathology report will determine how many radiation treatments will be necessary. I am a researcher, so I have been preparing myself for this part, and I am very anxious about the number.

However, I am going to do my best to focus on surgery and recovery, for now. Recovery should be approximately 2-4 weeks. My doctors say everyone is different and could be more or less. As mentioned before, I have not been able to update as much as I would like to, but I hope to be back during surgery recovery to let you all know how I am doing. I appreciate everyone for checking up on me and my progress!

If you are going through breast cancer treatment or are mentally and physically preparing to do so and have any questions, feel free to give me a shout.

I have documented everything along the way, for my understanding, and in hopes of helping the next person.

Breast Cancer, Breast Cancer Awareness, Self-Care, Things-to-Do, TNBC, Triple Negative Breast Cancer

Movelogy Pilates & Fitness AZ

May 5, 2023May 5, 2023 sharondashariee

According to breastcancer.org, “exercise may help you have fewer and less severe side effects from treatment. Research shows that exercise can help ease fatigue, lessen anxiety, improve quality of life, reduce the risk of lymphedema, improve physical function, strengthen bones, improve sleep, and ease bone and joint pain.”

Insert record scratch.

Exuding energy you do not seem to have, even a little bit, can help you feel better?

How Sway?

For a good part of a year, I have been wanting to try Reformer Pilates, so I made this my exercise of choice to try and get back into the swing of moving my body.

Prior to being diagnosed with breast cancer, I was in the gym regularly three to four times per week and in an Xtreme Hip Hop dance class one time per week. That all came to a screeching halt, and I found myself barely walking up the stairs in my home, without having to take a break.

I felt like yoga and pilates would be low impact options, while still moving for heart health, gaining muscle, or at least not losing muscle during this journey.

I found Moveology Pilates & Fitness, close to my home, so I decided to give it a try.

The Pilates instructor, Shieda (Shi for short), was warm and welcoming. I always look for spaces that are filled with good vibes only energy, and that it was.

The thoughts ran through my head ferociously before arrival. What will I wear to cover my head? Will I be cool enough, because chemo hot flashes are very real! Would I be able to keep up since this was my first time out, in a workout setting since diagnosis? How many people would be in class, so I am not exposed to all the things that people carry along with them. The list in my head went on and on.

My worries were put to rest, the classes are no more than five people per session. Shi moved at my slow pace, but also adjusted me when needed, and pushed me when I said could not do a certain movement. She made me aware that in her classes, you listen to your body, and adjust to what you feel you can handle. Shi said, “if I feel you can do it, I will encourage you to keep going, but you are ultimately in charge.”

We used the reformer’s main carriage. The reformer’s stand-up bar to stretch, which felt amazing. Then we moved onto the Pilates chair. I made it through the 50–55-minute class, very slowly, but I made it! One thing I know for sure, the sleep I will experience tonight will indeed be improved.

I plan on continuing Reformer Pilates. If you are looking to try out the class, Shieda will be having an open house to check out the space, on May 6^,2023, from 12PM-2PM. If you sign-up by the end of open house, the $100 registration fee is waived.

However, you can always sign up for a drop-in class or one of her packages. Find the link in her Instagram bio, @moveology_fitnessaz and do not forget your grip socks.

Location Visited:

4340 W. Chandler Boulevard, #3
Chandler, Arizona 85226

Tag: TNBC

Turning 45: A Journey of Healing, Compassion and Introspection Post-Breast Cancer