After nearly a month of testing, I learned the results on January 26, 2023. I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma-Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC). It is stage 2 and grade 3.
Insert the classic Lifetime movie time rewind we see at the bottom of the screen. If you are not looking when it flashes, you are lost. Anyhow, approximately 30 days before official diagnosis, I discovered the lump in my right breast. I usually do my breast self-checks top of the month. Randomly on December 30, 2022, my husband and I were playing around, and I brushed against my breast. I felt the lump and I completely freaked out. I was used to feeling small, squishy, water-filled cysts because I have had those for years. I get them tested, along with my annual mammogram, and they are always benign. This day was different. The lump felt different, hard, not moving at all, and a pretty good size. About the size of a small plum. I had not noticed it at all before this day, and of course I questioned myself tirelessly, how not? That is how prominent it was. My oncologist assured me. The lump might have just surfaced so I could finally feel it. It had been developing for quite some time. That STILL did not change my devastation.
I have cried more than I have ever cried in my entire life. This has all happened in just these last four months or so. And I still cry. After I had physically calmed down that evening, I snapped this photo. I could not believe my life was changing in an instant. In the photo above, I wore contacts and cried until they fell out. So, I had to put on my glasses. I wanted to capture who I was. I knew immediately I would not be the same person through this, years later, or if ever, beyond this experience.
Because of my diagnosis, I have learned A LOT about all things breast cancer. I will share just a fraction of what I have ingested. I have processed this information in a short time. Yet, I am learning more every single day. TNBC accounts for about 10-15% of all breast cancers. The term triple-negative breast cancer refers to the fact that the cancer cells do not have estrogen or progesterone receptors. The cancer cells also do not make any or too much of the protein called HER2. The cancer cells test “negative” on all three tests, thus triple negative. This cancer tends to be more common in women younger than age 40. I am 42. It is also more common in women who are Black. Lastly, it tends to be more common in women with a BRCA1 mutation. Although, TNBC can affect anyone! I fortunately DO NOT have the BRCA1 mutation, meaning I did not test positive for the hereditary gene. Thank goodness for my daughter (sons as well).
My chemotherapy schedule is every week for the next three months. After that, it will be once every three weeks for another three months. A total of six months of chemotherapy. I will have surgery to remove the area where the tumor existed. Then, I will undergo radiation to eliminate any cells that may have been left behind. The next year or so will be grueling, but lifesaving. By the time I make this post public, I will be in week seven of 24 weeks of active treatment.
There are days when I do not feel strong. I am not the breast cancer warrior everyone expects me to be. That is ok. If you are here, or know someone who is, it does not mean you or they have less faith. It means we are human. The next day you may feel like you can take on anything, with all the positive and good vibes radiating. When we need encouragement and comfort of all sorts. Taking one day at a time, has been my motto thus far.
I am grateful that I caught my tumor in its “early” stage. My family and friends have been close and comforting. My work team has been incredibly supportive. Everything about my treatment center is AMAZING. I am grateful. There is an incredible fighting chance. Doctors are equipped with all the knowledge, medicine, and technology available these days. Am I still scared, yes. Absolutely. It’s natural to feel this way. If you are reading this and are in a similar situation, rest in the unknown. If you know someone who is, let them rest in the unknown. As I mentioned earlier, you don’t need to be positive all the time. It can be exhausting and honestly, it doesn’t help. Feel all the feels, as you feel them. CANCER SUCKS and it is ok to feel it, think it, and express it. At times, or even often, I do not feel strong enough to endure another moment. Yet, it is nothing short of amazing what our bodies can endure, even when you think it cannot.
The good news is that my tumor is already responding to chemotherapy! When I found the tumor, testing and biopsies began immediately. During this time, my tumor more than tripled in size before even starting treatment. That is how aggressive this is. I still have a long road ahead. Surgery and radiation are to follow. Now, the size of my tumor is less than half the size, to touch.
It has taken me three months to publicly talk about my diagnosis. Sharing it aloud with folks outside my close friends and family was challenging. It is still a struggle at times to speak about it. I do believe that I have this platform for a reason.
I am not going to scream from the rooftops about ensuring yearly routine mammogram screenings. However, I will quietly remind you, whenever it fits, do not miss your mammogram screenings. It is LITERALLY a matter of life and death!
If you want to keep up with my journey, you can find updates here. I will post when I am up to it. It is an outlet, and I hope it inspires but most of all informs.
Sign-up as an email subscriber at the bottom of the website. You can also subscribe in the right-hand column. You will be sent an email when I post an update of my journey to survivor! There is actually some fun stuff, like wigs, eekk… I am not too savvy with a lace front, but I am going to learn. I will also explore cute scarf tying, cancer comforts, and ways to keep a bald head healthy. Also, my regular posts about cool things I find joy in, that you should also give a try.
Sharonda Shariee 